To show what you have learned about revising and editing, you will revise and edit the second body paragraph of your response to the module writing prompt. If you need inspiration, check out the original and revised body paragraph in the lesson.

In the space below, paste your second body paragraph as it was written in your first complete draft.
On the other hand, teachers think that “it is not
enough work”. Teachers kept saying, “The more
you know, the better. They believe that students
need to know as much as possible to be successful
in life. But even parents say they can't spend as
much time with their kids because they're at school
most of the day and come home the rest of the day
to do homework. Students not only miss social or
family time, but they also have erratic sleep
schedules and find it more difficult to focus in class
because they are too tired to stay up all night
doing homework.





Revision Focus: Idea Development and Transitions

Carry out the following revisions to improve your second body paragraph.

Introduction of quotation: Improve the introduction of at least two of your quotations. Highlight the revision.
Evidence: Add or change (make it shorter, make it longer, or change it entirely) two examples in the paragraph. If you add an example, be sure it is explained. Highlight the revision.
Explanation: Strengthen the explanation of two of your examples by connecting the evidence and the controlling idea. Highlight the revision.
Connections: Add an explanation that connects the two texts. Highlight the revision.
Transitions: Include a minimum of three transitional words or phrases to connect ideas. Highlight the transitions in your topic sentence and within your body paragraph.
Edit: Read your new and improved second body paragraph. Ensure the spelling, punctuation, and usage are correct.
Include your revised and edited paragraph below:

Answers

Answer 1

A sample revision of the paragraph is:

"Due to the need for knowledge in students by their teachers, it is recommended that they study more.

However, due to erratic schedules, parents are unable to spend enough time with their wards..."

What is Revision?

This refers to the edition of a text in order to make it better by the removal of obsolete inputs and the addition of new, better text.

Hence, the continuation of the revised sample is: "...and with the increased workload of homework, they are unable to focus in class.

It is worthy to note that schools should begin at an earlier time to allow these students to have more sleep and come to school refreshed and ready to learn new things."

Read more about revision here:

https://brainly.com/question/8823021

#SPJ1


Related Questions

Write a letter to your father telling him to pay your school fees​

Answers

Answer:

what is the main character of titanic

Answer:

Explanation:

I am doing good and hope the same for you and the family. My sessional exams are about to begin from 20th of June and before that I need to pay my due fees i.e. Rs. 5000, the last day to submit the fees is 15th June, after that the school will charge a fine of Rs. 200 per day.

hope it's help you

In Act III, scene i of Romeo and Juliet,
motivates Mercutio to draw his sword on Tybalt when Romeo will not.

Answers

Answer:

anger

Explanation:

On the street, Mercutio and Benvolio run into Tybalt. When Romeo arrives, Tybalt immediately attempts to start a fight with him. Mercutio accepts Tybalt's challenge after Romeo declines. During their duel, Mercutio is gravely wounded. Romeo then kills Tybalt in a duel to avenge Mercutio's death.

In Act III, scene i of Romeo and Juliet, the main motivation for Mercutio to draw his sword on Tybalt when Romeo will not is his loyalty to Romeo and his sense of honor.

Who are Romeo and Juliet?

The main characters of the play "Romeo and Juliet" are Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, two young lovers who fall deeply in love despite the feud between their families, the Montagues and the Capulets.

Romeo is a member of the Montague family and is initially infatuated with a woman named Rosaline. However, he quickly forgets about her when he meets Juliet at a party hosted by the Capulets. He is impulsive and emotional, prone to acting on his feelings without considering the consequences.

Juliet, on the other hand, is a member of the Capulet family and is initially reluctant to marry Paris, a wealthy and respected young man. She falls in love with Romeo and is willing to risk everything to be with him, even though their families are enemies. Juliet is intelligent and passionate, and she struggles to reconcile her love for Romeo with her loyalty to her family.

The story of Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy that explores themes of love, fate, and the consequences of impulsive actions. The play is one of William Shakespeare's most famous works and has been adapted into numerous films, plays, and other media.

Here in the Question,

In Act III, scene i of Romeo and Juliet, the main motivation for Mercutio to draw his sword on Tybalt when Romeo will not is his loyalty to Romeo and his sense of honor.

When Tybalt challenges Romeo to a duel, Romeo refuses to fight him because he has just married Juliet and no longer wishes to engage in violence with the Capulet family. Mercutio, however, is offended by Tybalt's insults and cannot bear to see Romeo dishonored. He draws his sword and begins to fight with Tybalt, leading to a tragic turn of events.

Furthermore, Mercutio's personality as a hot-tempered and impulsive character also plays a role in his decision to draw his sword on Tybalt. He is quick to react to insults and is always ready for a fight, which leads to his untimely death in the scene.

Therefore, Mercutio's loyalty to Romeo, his sense of honor, and his impulsive nature all motivate him to draw his sword on Tybalt, even when Romeo refuses to fight.

To learn more about the Types of tones use in the tragedies and comedies of Shakespearean click:

brainly.com/question/30324809

#SPJ7

Is it ethical for humans to kill and consume other primates?
3-4 complete sentences

Answers

There is no ethical reason on why humans should kill prymairts it’s not part of the cycle of life

Which sentence from a cover letter makes the best use of domain-specific
vocabulary?
A. Radiography is an interesting field that I've spent a great deal of time
studying and thinking about, both at work and in school.
B. As an experienced radiographer, I am familiar with several modalities,
including computed tomography and echocardiography.
C. Because I am experienced as a radiographer, I can perform a number of
tasks that are specific to the field of radiography.
D. As a practitioner within the milieu of health care vocations both
pragmatic and esoteric, I heretofore submit an amalgamation of my
proficiencies.

Answers

The sentence from a cover letter makes the best use of domain-specificvocabulary is As an experienced radiographer, I am familiar with several modalities,including computed tomography and echocardiography.

What is a sentence?

A sentence refers to group of words that have subject and predicate which has meaning. Sentence have nouns and pronouns.

Therefore, The sentence from a cover letter makes the best use of domain-specificvocabulary is As an experienced radiographer, I am familiar with several modalities,including computed tomography and echocardiography.

Learn more about sentence below.

https://brainly.com/question/24195714

#SPJ1

Which word best fits the connotation of the following sentence?

The singer’s voices ________ together to create a beautiful harmony.

floated
swirled
melted
blended

Answers

I think blended would be the correct answer

Instructions: Write a paragraph on the health benefits of dietary fiber. Synthesize the information in both of these sources (below) in your paragraph. Be sure to paraphrase or quote key information. Use at least one quote in your paragraph, and properly cite both quotes and paraphrases using MLA guidelines. Your response should use transitions to move between ideas, use specific details from the sources, maintain a formal style, and include a concluding statement. (15 points) Source B: "Fiber and Your Health" from a pamphlet published by the Professional Medical Practitioners of America

Answers

The benefits of a high-fiber diet include:

Normalizes bowel movements. Helps maintain bowel health.Lowers cholesterol levels. Helps control blood sugar levels. Aids in achieving a healthy weight. Helps you live longer.

What is a fiber diet?

Dietary fiber or roughage is the portion of plant-derived food that cannot be completely broken down by human digestive enzymes.

It helps control blood sugar levels, aids in achieving a healthy weight, and helps you live longer.

Learn more about fiber on
https://brainly.com/question/26259562

#SPJ1


Which source would be most credible?
an interview with a local space enthusiast
a blog post about the dangers of each planet
an online article from a space magazine about
discovering a new planet
an article in a history magazine about the first
American moon landing

Answers

Answer:

An article in a history magazine about the first

American moon landing

An article in a history magazine about the first American moon landing would be the most credible.

What is an article?

Article is writing about something or someone in a paper, magazine or any publication.

What is history?

History is the study of old events.

What is magazine?

Magazine is the publication of articles which are periodical and of a particular area.

What is credible?

Credible is which is convincing to be believed.

So among the four options the last one is more convinced to be believed.

Hence the option (4) is correct.

To learn more about article and history magazine here

https://brainly.com/question/12401951

#SPJ2

“The children of Israel have defeated Jericho “ which is the verb and what is the tense of the verb

Answers

the verb is defeated, and the tense is the past tense

In Chapter 4 of The Scarlet Letter, which best describes Roger Chillingworth’s goal in knowing the identity of the father of Hester’s child?
to reveal the father’s name to the settler’s community
to stitch a letter of infamy on the father’s garment
to cause the father discomfort and internal distress
to see that the father is put to death for his alleged crime

Answers

In the story, The Scarlet letter, Roger Chillingworth wanted to know the identity of the father of Hester's child so that he could be put to death and pay for his committed crimes. Thus, option D is correct.

Who is Hester?

In the Scarlet Letter, Hester the protagonist lived with her husband Roger Chillingworth whose true identity was hidden from the world except for Hester. He came to visit her which made the situation very uncomfortable. He was anxious to know about the father of the baby.

The story showed that the person of the story is not who they really are shown to be and rather is hiding some of the other secrets.  He wanted to know about the father so he can revenge on him.

Therefore, Chillingworth wanted to revenge on the father for having an affair with Hester.

Learn more about The Scarlet letter here:

https://brainly.com/question/15698372

#SPJ1

Answer:

C) to cause the father discomfort and internal distress

Explanation:

got it right on edge2022

Which piece of evidence is most relevant to this claim and supporting
reason?
all students should be required to learn a second language because
learning a second language can increase students' reading skill in their
first language.
a. "students' reading skill increased by two grade levels when they
learned a second language," said principal shannon amato.
ob. "when i was young, my father taught me how to speak japanese,"
said dr. emily walters.
c. reading is an important skill to develop in elementary school.

Answers

The evidence that is most relevant to the claim is "Students' reading skills increased by two grade levels when they

learned a second language."

What makes a piece of evidence relevant?It directly supports or explains the claim.It is based on facts rather than opinions.The author is credible.

Which option is the most relevant to the claim?

Considering the claim is about the positive impact of learning a second language on reading skills, the best piece of evidence is "Students' reading skills increased by two grade levels..." because this evidence proves the claim, is based on facts (statistics) and the author can be trusted.

Learn more about claims in: https://brainly.com/question/14551819

#SPJ1

Explain in your own words how intolerance contributed to the mass hysteria that took place in Salem, Massachusetts. Your response should be at least 150 words

Answers

Intolerance was one of the main factors to awaken the mass hysteria because the citizens did not tolerate some behaviors that they considered sorcery and associated them with witchcraft.

What was the Salem witch hunt?

Witch hunting is a term that refers to the tendency during the 17th century to persecute citizens, especially women in the town of Salem, Massachusetts who were believed to practice witchcraft.

How is this problem related to intolerance?

This is related to intolerance because many citizens had very radical thoughts and did not tolerate some manifestations or behaviors that they considered sorcery and pointed to whoever exercised them as a witch or sorcerer.

Learn more about sorcery in: https://brainly.com/question/18568235

#SPJ1

Choose the word that best completes the sentence.
The best player to watch is

She
Her
Him me

Answers

Answer:

Her

Explanation:

It sounds best.

Which two sentences in this excerpt from Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “Four Freedoms” speech suggest that going to war will result in a peaceful political system?


A. That is no vision of a distant millennium. It is a definite basis for a kind of world attainable in our own time and generation.

B. That kind of world is the very antithesis of the so-called new order of tyranny which the dictators seek to create with the crash of a bomb.

C. To that new order we oppose the greater conception—the moral order. A good society is able to face schemes of world domination and foreign revolutions alike without fear.

D. The world order which we seek is the cooperation of free countries, working together in a friendly, civilized society.

E. This nation has placed its destiny in the hands and heads and hearts of its millions of free men and women; and its faith in freedom under the guidance of God.

Answers

The answers are A and D

All around us in Florence, new buildings are being erected that pay homage to antiquity. It seems a new birth is occurring. The author was observing what time period

Answers

Renaissance is the author was detecting what time period. As All about us in Florence, new buildings are being raised that pay homage to antiquity. It seems a new birth is occurring.

How did Luther's ideas in this writing contribute to the start of the reformation?

The Protestant Reformation was sparked by his "95 Theses," which proclaimed two key beliefs: that the Bible is the ultimate religious truth and that mankind can only be redeemed by believe, not by works.

Paintings and sculptures improved during the Renaissance, when creators learnt how to sketch in perspective.

Thus, it is Renaissance.

For more information about writing contribute to the start of the reformation, click here:

https://brainly.com/question/638523

#SPJ1

What organization method is this literary analysis essay using to compare/contrast two texts?

1. Connotations - Text 1 & 2
2. Denotations - Text 1 & 2

Block

or

Point-Point

Answers

The Point by Point method is the organization method that this literary analysis essay is using to compare and contrast the two texts.

What is an organization method?

This means the different methods use to arrange ideas, evidence or details in a perceptible order in a given paragraph, essay, speech etc.

The most common organization method that are used in writing is the Block and Point-Point method.

However, based on the literary analysis essay, the Point by Point method is the organization method used to compare and contrast the two texts.

Read more about organization method

brainly.com/question/27049960

#SPJ1

Compare and Contrast is the organization method in this literary analysis essay used to compare/contrast two texts is point by point.

How do you start a literary analysis essay?

The introduction

It should have your thesis information and a synopsis of the essay's structure.

A typical structure for an introduction is, to start with a general statement about the text and author, using this to lead into your thesis declaration.

Thus, this could be the answer.

To learn more about literary analysis essay click here:

https://brainly.com/question/27488672

#SPJ1

true or false? in reading critically, the reader identifies the claims in the text only.​

Answers

False
Hopefully this helps

Answer:

The answer is surely false hope it helps u

branliest?

In this excerpt, Odysseus is compared to a

Answers

Odysseus is compared to a bat

What kind of sentence is "Although Mary isn't fond of reading, she read Harper Lee's To Kill A Mockingbird, and she found out fascinating" is it a simple sentence, complex sentence, compound sentence, or compound-complex sentence

Answers

Answer:

It is a Compound-complex sentance

Explanation:

So . . . are we to assume that mankind is innately and universally corrupt? And if so, how corrupt? The answer may lie in . . . bagels. Consider the true story of a man named Paul Feldman. Once upon a time, Feldman dreamed big dreams. Trained as an agricultural economist, he wanted to tackle world hunger. Instead, he took a job in Washington, analyzing weapons expenditures for the U.S. Navy. This was in 1962. For the next twenty-odd years, he did more of the same. He held senior-level jobs and earned good money, but he wasn’t fully engaged in his work. At the office Christmas party, colleagues would introduce him to their wives not as “the head of the public research group” (which he was) but as “the guy who brings in the bagels.” —Freakonomics, Levitt and Dubner For what purpose do the authors use the bagel example within their argument?

Answers

To show how little importance a man can have to another man. And how although we may try our hardest to make ourselves into something and bring something good and of purpose to the world, our efforts will never be recognized or make any sort of real difference in the world or to the people around us.

Answer:

A. to extend the argument beyond sumo to a broader group of people.

Explanation:

I got it right on edge.

Why does no one ask eddie about how he got his war injury? - the five people you meet in heaven

Answers

Answer:

He became sickened by the war: the murders, captivity and the futility of it all. He merely wanted to salvage something and was convinced that there was an innocent soul inside the burning hut. The Captain shot Eddie in the leg to keep him from running further into the hut and burning to death.

Explanation:

The map shows lines that measure distance.
B
On the map, what do the letters A and B identify?
O A is the equator, and B is the meridian.
O A is the prime meridian, and B is the equator.
OA is the prime equator, and B is the meridian.
O A is the equator, and B is the prime meridian.

Answers

Answer: The answer should be D

Explanation:

What are some of the objections people have to mobile food vendors? Cite evidence, by quoting specific details and information from Text 2

Answers

The context clues show that the objection that people have to mobile food vendors is that such foods are unhealthy.

What are context clues?

It should be noted that context clues are the hints that are given by the author in a literary work.

In this case, the objection that people have to mobile food vendors is that such foods are unhealthy.

The characters stated that mobile food can bring about health hazards like cholera, etc.

Learn more about context clues on:

brainly.com/question/11247029

#SPJ1

FAST!! I WILL GIVE 100 POINTS!!
Read the excerpt from "Homesick Blues."

Do you want to know what turned out to be the last straw for me? I was walking down to the corner delicatessen one day, and a man asked me for two dollars. He said he needed it for bus fare to get to the hospital to visit his mother who was dying. I told him I didn't have any cash, although I was holding $12.00 in my back pocket. The truth was that I didn’t believe him. I thought he was lying to me because I'd heard so many lies here and because this same man had told me the same story before, and if his mother has been dying that long she should be in a medical journal, and because I am tired of it.


Later, after I got back to the apartment, I thought about the man and about me. The poor guy was worse off than me and all he wanted was two lousy dollars. When had I become so jaded, so suspicious, so calloused? I don't like that part of me, and I don’t like the city that has brought it out for me to see.

Which sentence best shows a conflict between an individual and society?

-Later, after I got back to the apartment, I thought about the man and about me.
-Do you want to know what turned out to be the last straw for me?
-I don’t like that part of me, and I don’t like the city that has brought it out for me to see.
-I was walking down to the corner delicatessen one day, and a man asked me for two dollars.

Answers

Answer:

The correct answer is C) I don’t like that part of me, and I don’t like the city that has brought it out for me to see.

Explanation:

In that sentence, the individual mentions not liking a certain part of themselves, while society exuberates that part of them.

Answer:

c

Explanation:

C I don't like that part of me and i don't like the city that has brought it out for me to see

In at least two hundred words, discuss the character transformations that occur in "bernice bobs her hair." how do
these transformations relate to the structure of the story?

Answers

The character's transformation occurs through her perception of the society in which she is inserted. This is presented in a cause-and-effect structure.

How does this transformation happen?It happens through cultural norms.It happens through patterns of beauty.It happens through self-identity.

In this story, the character Bernice undergoes transformations to fit the beauty standards of different societies. These transformations occur in Bernice's physical form and are reflected in psychological, emotional, and even personality changes.

This is all shown in a structure of cause and consequence, where social pressures are the causes that result in Bernice's transformations.

Learn more about Bernice:

https://brainly.com/question/25439243

#SPJ1

The basic categories or purposes of speeches include all of the following except _____. to entertain to scold to persuade to inform

Answers

Answer: to scold

Explanation: i did the test today : )

help me plssssssssssssss​

Answers

Answer:

have been; have happened; met; talked; liked; asked; said; have lived

Explanation:

write your own definition of the term of chivalry means​

Answers

Chivalry is a medieval social code that knights went by in the Middle Ages, particularly in Europe. Characteristics that often come with chivalry would include courtesy, honesty, and thoughtfulness. All of these are used to demonstrate commitment, compassion, and true respect to one’s significant other.

Why does ralph think that the boy he sees is ""not bill""?.

Answers

Answer:

Ralph thinks that the boy isn't Bill because it is a completely different person in front of him. He looks possessed by savagery and the beast. He looks like he has no control and is a malevolent creature.

Explanation:

Read the excerpt from "Surrendering" by Ocean Vuong.
Between his sentences, a crowd-I imagined thousands
-roared and applauded. I imagined their heads shifting
in an endless flow. His voice must possess the power of
a moon, I thought, something beyond my grasp, my little
life.
Mark this and return
What are the denotation and connotation of the word
endless in the excerpt?
O The denotation is continuous, and the connotation is
positive.
O The denotation is unrelenting, and the connotation is
positive.
O The denotation is continuous, and the connotation is
negative.
O The denotation is unrelenting, and the connotation is
negative.
Save and Exit
Next
Submit

Answers

The denotation and connotation of the word endless in the excerpt is that the denotation is continuous, and the connotation is positive.

What is meaning of Denotation and Connotation?

Denotation refers to an explicit meaning of a word while a connotation refers to an inferred meaning of the same word.

Here, in the sentence above, the author talked about the endless appreciative roar of the crowd.

Their feeling can be deduced to be positive while the literal meaning of the word is continuous.

Therefore, the Option A is correct.

Read more about denotation and connotation

brainly.com/question/10473888

#SPJ1

The excerpt's use of the word "endless" has the following meanings and connotations:

The connotation is positive, and the denotation is continuous. thus option A is correct.

What do the terms "denotation" and "connotation" mean?

Connotation refers to a word's implied meaning, whereas denotation refers to a word's stated meaning.

As a result, the author discussed the crowd's never-ending roar of appreciation in the passage above.

Their sentiment can be inferred to be favorable, and the word's precise definition is continuous.

Learn more about denotation and connotation here:

brainly.com/question/10473888

#SPJ1


Which strategy best represents one way a writer can keep readers engaged?
A. Provide transitions for shifts in topic, mood, and time
B. Move the narrative along as fast as possible
C. Order the events from most interesting to least interesting
D. Include as many details as possible

Answers

The strategy best represents one way a writer can keep readers engaged is providing transitions for shifts in topic, mood, and time.

What is writing?

The primary goal of writing is to inform the reader in a clear and understandable manner.

Any writing style used by the writer must be solely for the purpose of educating the readers.

Transitional words are used by writers to indicate a change in a previously discussed topic or idea.

Thus, the correct option is B. Move the narrative along as fast as possible.

Learn more about writing

https://brainly.com/question/1219105

#SPJ1

Other Questions
Explain more on Youths lacking interest in Cultural Activities resulting in low participation is cultural activities The product of two numbers is 5, if their sum is 9/2. What are the numbers? with detail explaniation Which of these is the BEST example of recent religious syncretism? Jasmine played in a basketball tournament. The ratio of the number of baskets she missed during the tournament to the number of baskets she made is 3:8. If Jasmine missed 9 baskets during the tournament, how many baskets did she make? Draw a diagram to demonstrate how you found your answer. What is meant by the term climate what is the solution to the inequality below 14-2(x+1)< -4 Why are the moon and the candles considered liars?They both suggest romance that isnt there anymore.They make women feel good.They both mask the truth with their dim light.The stand for men who betray women. Which questions best demonstrate how to objectively evaluate an essay for interesting and unique presentaSelect two options.Do I agree with the ideas presented?Do I think the writing is interesting?Do I like the essay?Do I see that the writer tried to add style to the essay?Do I notice that the writer tries to engage readers? HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP Which represents the inverse of thefunction f(x) = 4x? h(x) = X + 4O h(x) = x - 4O h(x) = 3/4xO h(x) = 1/4X important Juneteenth is celebrate significant What term does Dominic Infante give to the behavior where people rely on character attacks, competence attacks, personal appearance attacks, insults, brutal teasing, ridicule, profanity, and threats in their argumentative interactions Ms. Lui earned an annual income of 775,000, what is the weekly salary? Will give 50 points for answer to this question Whenever something goes wrong in my life, I cheer myself up by eating ice cream and listening to lachrymose songs over and over again.What does the word "lachrymose" mean in this context? Use these dictionary entries to answer the question:O romanticO sad O upbeatO favorite The tower of london dates back to the year 1066, is from the same era as buckingham palace, is older than westminster abbey, and is one of the oldest historical sites in england. Just a little help :,(Find the volume of the cone. Round your answer to the nearest tenth. Use 3.14 for T.9 in.in.3 in.The volume is about Which of the following is an exponential function?a. f(x)=x + 2x -6b. f(x) = 5/xc. f(x) = 5x + 2d. f(x) = 4xe. f(x) = 4x*2* Disciplinary action in an ethics hearing can include:. Which statement best describes the experience of women living in territoriesin the West during the 1800s?OA. Women in the West were expected to serve in local governments.B. Women in the West controlled most social and political systems.O C. Women in the West were allowed to vote and own businesses.D. Women in the West gained expanded property rights.