Hi, can someone help me revise with the following PIE paragraphs I need help with grammar puntuatuion. I would like if you can help me add or take some setences if does not make sense thank you!!


Problem, Cause, and Solution PIE Paragraphs

One of the systemic education problems is that the financial aid system doesn’t offer financial help to students. For example, When students doesn’t recive financial help they are just worry about how they going to pay for their tuition. When they don’t have money to pay for they tuition they might thinking in not continue with school. In the memoir Educated, Tara Westover had this problem when she first started school at Brigham Young University. Westover (2018) wrote, “My bank account decreased steadily, I had been worried that I might not pass my classes, but a month into the semester, after I’d paid tuition and rent and bought food and books, I began to think that even if I pass I wouldn’t be coming back to school for one obvious reason: I couldn’t afford it” (p. 239). Westover said that she might not continue with school because she doesn’t have enough money to pay her rent and her tuition. If financial aid provides her help, she might not be thinking in leave the shcool. This concludes that the financial help system is a big problem with students’ education.
The first cause of this problem comes from student parent income. Financial aid offer financial help to students based on they parent income. The financial aid system assumes that a if a student parent income is high enough they will be able to cover their son or doughter tuition. For example, I have a friend who was studying at Skagit valley college she couldn’t qualified for financial aid because her parent’s income was too high. Financial aid thought that her parent would help her because their income was high enough. What financial did not know is that her parent wouldn’t help her pay for college tuition. This leads her to stop with her education and looks for work so she can save money to pay for college.
The second, cause is that they are hard on the requirement. Financial aid require students to be a full time student in order to qualify for financial aid. When financial aid require student to take 3 classes, they can not learn all the material that they are studying When student take more than three classes, they can not learn what they are studying because is too much for their brain. For example in “ A Glossary of Common Lerning Terms.” John Webster’s ( 2020) wrote, “Our brains work easily with a few concepts or numbers at once, but when we work with more than three to five entities the “load” begins to get heavy.” This what happened to student when the financial aid require them to take three classes. When student take three classes it is difficul for them to learn all the three subject they are studying. Their brain can’t process well all the information they are learning. This leads to a bad GPA at the end of the quarter because they did not perform well on the assignment because it was too much information for their brain.
First solution is that financial aid should not offer financial aid help base on students parent income. Not all parent help their son or daughter to pay for college. For example as I mention before my friend parent didn’t help her to pay for her college tuition. Even her parent income was high they didn’t help her to pay for her college tuition. This is what many student face todays their parent income does not have nothing to do with them. For this reason financial aid should not focus on student parent income in order to offer them financial aid. Financial aid system should help students independently not base on their parent income.



A solution to financial aid system problem is to change the hard requirement that they have on students. For example the financial aid should provide financial aid for part time students and not just for full time students. If financial aid don’t change their requirement, students are more likely are more to not continue with their education. For example, one of my other frind coldn’t qualified for financial aid because she was a part time students. Since she couldn’t qualified for financial aid she stop attending college. The last time I talk with her she told me that she might not come back to college because she work and she can not be a full time student. For For this reason, financial aid needs to change the hard requirement and be able to help all students no matter if they are part time or full time students by doing this financial aid will help students to achieve their goals.

Answers

Answer 1
Here is my revision:

"One of the systemic education problems is that the financial aid system doesn't offer any financial help to students. For example, when students don't receive financial benefits of any sort, they fret over potentially not being able to afford their tuition costs. When they don't have the proper funds to pay for their tuition, they may consider dropping out of school. In a memoir titled "Educated" (written by Tara Westover), the author experienced first-hand what it was like to rapidly lose money. Westover stated, "My bank account decreased steadily; I had been worried that I might not pass my classes.... But a month into the semester - after I'd paid for tuition, rent, food, and books, I began to think that I wouldn't be coming back to school, even if I passed. This was for one obvious reason: I couldn't afford it." (p. 249). Westover said that she might not continue with school because she did not have the funds for tuition and rent. If she were given financial aid of some sort, she most likely would not have considered dropping out. This - without a doubt - proves that the education system is incredibly flawed. For this reason alone, education is not - in fact - available to everyone.

One reason that this ever-growing problem still exists is due to student/parent income. Financial aid is offered to students based off of student/parent income. The aid system assumes - for some unthinkable reason - that if a student/parent income is high enough, the student's tuition will be easily accounted for. For example; an acquaintance of mine who was - at one point - studying at Valley College couldn't qualify for financial aid because her family's income was deemed "too high." However, the parents of my aforementioned friend refused to pay for her tuition costs, thereby causing her to drop out of college due to her next-to-nonexistent school funds.

Another thing that is worth pointing out is the fact that the financial aid requirements are incredibly far fetched; almost absurd in some aspects. Only full-time students are able to qualify.

In "A Glossary of Common Learning Terms" (written by John Webster), it is stated, "Our brains work easily with a few concepts or numbers at once, but when we work with more than three to five entities, the 'load' begins to get heavy." This shows that it is incredibly difficult for a student to learn full time. Overloading the brains of college students can cause less-than-satisfactory GPA scores to arise.

The first solution that should be suggested is to outlaw the "parent/student income" part of the financial aid equation. It should no longer be assumed that parents with well paying occupations will always want to pay for the college tuitions of their children. Financial aid should focus on the students, and the students alone.

Another solution is to alter the requirements. Providing a certain level of help to part-time students should be a n accessible and viable option. Otherwise, students are more likely to drop out of college.

Another acquaintance of mine was unable to apply for financial aid due to the fact that she was only a part-time student. She - as demonstrated by my friend that I mentioned earlier on - also discontinued her education. Currently, she is working a mentally-draining job, and college no longer seems like a possibility for her, considering she can only get financial aid if she commits to studying full time.


Related Questions

this is the excerpt for my last question​

Answers

Answer:

Okay, the answer is D

Explanation:

Snatched the points, lol :F

How did alyohin defined love?​

Answers

Answer:

Alyohin defines love as a great mystery and he claims it to be one incontestable truth ever stated about love. One can argue about it as one pleases. Both love each other but Pelageya does not want to marry him rather she wishes to stay just so. Nikanor wants to marry her and in his drunken mood he beats her.

Answer:

he defined it as a great mystery :)

Explanation:

to revise sentence 3, which of these should use to add specific details

a. the soccer team teaches its players many important skills

b. I did not know much before I started playing on the soccer team

c. i learned about teamwork and working with others while on the team

d. playing on the soccer team taught me things i did not know before​

Answers

Answer: It’s C

Explanation:

I just did it

“Rhetoric, you say? What’s that?” What is his definition? (You may quote or paraphrase.

Answers

Answer:

a rhetoric is used as a persuasion especially in writing. it’s a tactic that drives the side of thinking out of readers during the authors work to try and get them to support the author’s cause or effort in something. when we think of a rhetorical question, it’s something that you don’t answer. the same goes for a rhetoric in writing, it’s used as a method of causing the audience or reader to brainstorm the topic dealt by the author.

Explanation:

EASY IF YOUVE READ HARRY POTTER!!
what is one lesson that harry potter learned in the first book? give an example

Answers

He learned that having friendship will help him through anything and that bravery can come in many forms.

Answer:

One of the morals of the story is that you never know what you are capable of until you try. Harry was faced with extraordinary circumstances, and he was able to rise to the challenge. He found reserves of bravery within himself, as well as special abilities. Harry Potter had no idea that he was a wizard, of course.

Explanation:

You should use quotation marks around material you have cited when




you've paraphrased what an author said.


you want the author to find your paper online.


you're using an author's exact words.


you want the information you have cited to stand out.

Answers

Answer:

you're using an author's exact words.

Explanation:

One should use quotation marks around material that has been cited when the usage of an author's exact words is done. Hence, Option C is correct.

What are quotation marks?

The quotation marks come under the category of punctuation marks. The use of this mark is done in pairs at the time of various writing systems. These systems are to set off direct speech, a quotation, or a phrase. The pair of the mark is of two types, one is single (‘ ’) and the second is double (“ ”).

As per the above-stated types of quotation marks, it consists of an opening and a closing quotation mark. Use of each of a set of punctuation marks is done either to mark the beginning and end of a title or quoted passage. It can also be used to indicate that a word or phrase is regarded as slang or jargon.

Thus, while using the quotation marks around the material, one should use an author's exact words. Option C is correct.

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What effect does the letter have on Brutus ?

Answers

Answer:

Down below

Explanation:

Brutus decides to warn Caesar that his life is in danger, and Brutus thinks that Cassius is committing treason against Rome. I hope this was the answer you were looking for?

Why does a doctor take an x-ray of an animal?



a.
to teach the animal a lesson


b.
to learn what the animal likes to eat


c.
to find out if the animal is hurt or sick


d.
to give the animal medicine

Answers

Answer:

Its C) to find out id the animal is hurt or sick

Explanation:

Its obvious  

I think I forgot the question, I'll ask again if I remember it.

^ Is there a better way to say it​

Answers

I forgot my question but If I ever remember it I’ll ask you.
Or
I must’ve forgotten my question...^

sorry I cant remember what I was going to ask but I’ll bring it up if I remember

I NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE FEEDBACK FOR THESE PARAGRAPHS RIGHT NOW! I AM GIVING BRAINLIEST

Directions: Read and analyze the 4 paragraphs from our classes' Personal Narrative assignment.
In a Google Doc or Slides analyze EACH paragraph by identifying the errors and providing specific feedback on how to improve each one. The paragraph must have a triumph.
*You are NOT allowed to inquire about the author of the paragraphs. This will result in you losing points off YOUR grade.*

PARAGRAPHS:
1. A time l got a great Victory was in Florida, I was playing football
games with my team and I. We needed to make it to the
championship so we played our first 3 games and won those games.
So when we advanced to the championship it wasnt really easy. We
went to overtime and they played their drive. They didn't score most
likely because their touchdown kept getting called back. Then when
we played our drive we scored ended up winning the rings.

2. A time l got a great Victory was in Florida, I was playing football
games with my team and I. We needed to make it to the
championship so we played our first 3 games and won those games.
So when we advanced to the championship it wasnt really easy. We
went to overtime and they played their drive. They didnt score most
likely because their touchdown kept getting called back. Then when
we played our drive we scored ended up winning the rings.

3.When I was younger, about 3 or 4 years old. My parents had a car accident with my moms old red van. We had been going to a store to get some clothes in Greenbelt, and on the Beltway. Someone that my mom knew crashed into us. None of us were severely hurt, but the next day we had to go to the hospital for a check-up. I ended up being in a cast for about 1 week and a half, as doctors said that I broke my arm. I was still able to do things with that arm, just couldn’t do as much as I usually would. For example, I could feed myself and others, but couldn’t do some at-home exercises like pushups.

4.My challenge that led to a triumph was when my family came
to stay at my house for a couple hours and I could not think
of a challenge that led to a triumph until they left I realized
that they were a distraction and I could not figure out how to
complete this assignment then I realized that one challenge
that led to triumph was when I got a bad grade and I figured
it was my focus and I changed spaces to do class in my
house I am more productive I get my stuff done and I feel
more relaxed and excited for the next day.And that's my
personal narrative.

IF SOMEONE COULD PLEASE SEND FEEDBACK ON ALL OF THESE BY MIDNIGHT, IT WOULD BE GREAT! I NEED FEEDBACK ON THESE AS MY ASSIGNMENT. I AM GIVING BRAINLIEST!

Answers

Answer:

1. I suggest ending the "A time l got a great Victory was in Florida" Ending the sentence and starting a new one. Any number below ten should be written out. (Three not 3) Comma after so. And add apostrophe. (So, when we advanced to the championship it wasn't really easy.) Last sentence needs to be redefined. Does not make sense to say "we scored ended"?

2.  Add spaces. (Obviously) How do you quietly storm out of a room? The adjectives do not make sense. He started to own? I suggest finding a better word.

3. Again, anything under ten needs to be written out. Confused by what this sentence means, "We had been going to a store to get some clothes in Greenbelt, and on the Beltway." Instead of 1 week and a half say a week and a half. I suggest saying the arm I broke, instead of that arm. Very good otherwise!!

4. I suggest cutting out everything that said you could not think of a triumph. It just confused the reader. The punctuation is also bad. Add more commas and get rid of the run-on sentences.

Read the excerpt from "Healthy Eating." Which evidence does the author use to support the argument that people can improve their health by making small changes to their diets? "I was taking all these pills like an old woman," said Naar, a neonatology nurse at Baptist Hospital. "My blood pressure is hereditary, but I added to it by adding the pounds and eating horribly every day."... O an expert quotation O scientific facts O an anecdote historical information A nutritionist took her shopping and introduced her to the joys of cauliflower. She upped her workouts, stopped eating hamburgers three times a week and scaled back on the Cold Stone pistachio ice cream. Today, Naar is 20 pounds lighter and down to two pills a day.​

Answers

Answer:

i think: She shares an anecdote to show that people can drastically improve their health by making small changes to their diets.

Explanation:

Which of the following is an example of a counterargument?

Answers

Answer:

where are the examples?

Explanation:

Why can’t Gary hear “the things in his heart”?

Answers

What’s the story or passage to it

Give FIVE SENTENCES of: Why do you think it is important to write a letter of consent when conducting a survey? ​

Answers

Please mark me as Brainliest ......

It’s gives you more credibility and helps encourage whoever you’re giving the survey to that whatever experiment you’re conducting is legit. It’s also good to have their consent on record in case something (I can’t imagine what) goes wrong and shows that you went through the proper steps in order to have them participate.

Give at least 3 conditions of processed fruits

Answers

Answer:

Processed food can Increase the cancer risk and, it indeed has too much sugar, sodium and fat. It also, lacks in nutritional value. And, Likely to be Full of artificial ingredients.

What do outlining, mapping, and cubing have in common during the prewriting process? Check all that apply.

They help you understand the purpose of your paper.
They help you organize your ideas for your paper.
They all use images to show the flow of your paper.
They help you generate ideas for your paper.
They can help you plan your paper.

Answers

Answer:

B D E

Explanation:

Your answer is B D and E because when outlining your obviously organizing your thoughts and ideas. Also you are brainstorming ideas to figure out your topic or what you are going to write about, so therefore you are generating ideas. Last, but not least outlining helps you plan your paper due by writing out your timeline of your story. So if you actually read this explanation you'll know outlining is very helpful and ------------>  I got the question correct.

Your welcome  e d g e n u i t y <3 users!

Please say thanks and give 5 stars and mark brainlest if you can!!!        

The outlining, mapping, and the cubing all need to be organized to generate the ideas for a paper, and help in keeping the plan on paper. Thus, the correct options are B, D, and E.

What is Prewriting process?

The prewriting process is the process which includes the planning phase. It consists of determining the purpose and audience, narrowing the topic and creating the framework for the documentation which helps in making an effective document.

Outlining, mapping, and cubing all are required for the prewriting process and have things in common which include help in organizing the ideas for a better and effective paper, help a person to generate ideas for the paper, and helps in planning the paper.

Therefore, the correct options are B, D, and E.

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The only language that should be used in fictional stories is _____.

• the standard grammar that is taught in schools
• the vernacular and dialect appropriate to the story
• the type of word choice that has more than one meaning
• the grammar of the spoken word
Answer as soon as you can I'm working ahead so I have time to play on ThanksGiving!

Answers

Answer:

its B

Explanation:

Answer:

• the vernacular and dialect appropriate to the story

Explanation:

This is really dumb to ask I'm pretty sure I know the answer but I just wanna make sure.

Which of the following is something our government can dictate?

A. How birthdays could be celebrated

B. Taxes people have to pay

IT'S A FREE 10 POINTS SO PLEASE HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Answers

Answer:

B

Explanation:

you already know why XD

He _______ then wine as we speak (taste)
Is the book you _______ any good (read) ​

Answers

Answer: He taste then wine as we speak, Is the book you read any good?

Explanation:

10. O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
while follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But o heart! heart! heart!
o the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up for you the flag is flung-for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths-for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, o shores, and ring, o bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
In one paragraph of at least three to five sentences, analyze the imagery in the stanza in
bold. Identify the mood the author intended to create with this imagery, as well as the
connotations used in the diction. Use proper spelling and grammar. (10 points)

Answers

Answer:

do the paragraph, its really easy

the mood

List some of the benefits to Green building:

Answers

Answer:

Energy Efficiency Enhances Indoor Environment Quality Water Efficiency Better HealthMaterial Efficiency Better EnvironmentReduces Strain on Local Resources

Explanation:

*Hope this helps*

Answer: 1. Lower construction costs

2. Reduces negative impacts on the environment

3. Shown to bring positive social impacts

Explanation:

Name three behaviors Old
Major says should be
forbidden after the revolution.

Answers

Answer:

forced marriages(they still happen in some parts of the world,slavery and illeteracy

Explanation:

In The Diary of Anne Frank, Act II, why does Anne leave her diary behind when the Nazis come to take the families and Mr. Dussel away?
O
А.
She is tired of writing in it.
B.
She does not want it to get ruined.
o o
C. The Nazis said they could take only clothing
o
D. She leaves it as a clue to where the Nazis take her.

Answers

Answer:

she doesnt want it to get ruined- B

When a modest increase in price has little to no effect on the quantity demanded, the demand for that product is


inelastic

complementary

elastic

unit elastic

Answers

Answer: elastic explanation

Why did Woolf write about gender equality at a time when she was achieving
success as a writer?
A. Because her father was overbearing and forbade her from getting
an education
B. Because women writers were being denied opportunities that men
were given
C. Because women writers were not proving themselves to be
talented in the writing they produced
D. Because she wanted to become an English professor and was
denied the chance

Answers

Answer:

B

Explanation:

Because people did not fully recognize the unfair treatment of women during her time

Because women writers were being denied opportunities that men were given

Woolf wrote  about gender equality at a time when she was achieving success as a writer because women writers were being denied opportunities that men were given.

What is gender equality?

Gender equality,is the state of equal ease of access to resources and opportunities regardless of gender, including economic participation and decision-making; and the state of valuing different behaviors, aspirations and needs equally, regardless of gender.

Gender equality is the goal, while gender neutrality and gender equity are practices and ways of thinking that help in achieving the goal. Gender parity, which is used to measure gender balance in a given situation, can aid in achieving gender equality but is not the goal in and of itself.

Gender equality is more than just equal representation, it is strongly tied to women's rights, and often requires policy changes. As of 2017, the global movement for gender equality has not incorporated the proposition of genders besides women and men, or gender identities outside of the gender binary.

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what do you think people should say more often? explain in a sentences your answer ​

Answers

Answer:

i think people should say thank you more often or at least say things a bit less harsh. i think tht because a lot of people dont realize what they say, do, or how they say it and it makes a difference. i also think that theworld would become a better place if poeple would say thankyou more often and have meaning in it because it does influence the person that recieves that thank you, and makes them actually feel appreciated.

Explanation:

hope that helps:)

When you find out Percy’s true identity, are you surprised or did you see it coming? What clues were given earlier in the book?

Answers

The context clues show that I was surprised about Percy's true identity as he was a demigod even though he didn't show it.

What are context clues?

It should be noted that context clues are the hints that are given in a literary work by the author.

In this case, the context clues show that I was surprised about Percy's true identity as he was a demigod even though he didn't show it.

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why do you think it necessary for people to understand political science?​

Answers

Political science is fundamental to understanding your rights and responsibilities as a citizen and to understanding international politics and law. These courses will introduce you to political concepts, political behavior, policy issues, and structures of government within societies and among nations.

As he sat and regained his breath, he noted that he was feeling quite warm and comfortable. He was not shivering, and it even seemed that a warm glow had come to his chest and trunk. Then the thought came to him that the frozen portions of his body must be extending, and he made another wild run along the trail. And all the time the dog ran with him, at his heels.
What is the character’s motivation in the excerpt?

The man is internally motivated by his loyalty to the dog.
The man is internally motivated by a survival instinct.
The man is externally motivated by the hope of peer recognition.
The man is externally motivated by the urgings of the dog.

Answers

Answer: The second opinion

Explanation:

He was comfortable so it couldn’t have been external and him and his dog was doing fine but he knew he was alarmingly cold

The second opinion
Explaination

1 . what type of noun is parish?

a. proper
b. collective
c. common
d. abstract

Answers

parish is a common name
the answer is C common
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